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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Post Mission Stress.... Ugh...



Recently, a resurgence of normal activites are coming back but only change being post mission. From this change of "Missionary" to "Young Professional," I decided to have a thought puke of recent events... please forgive me for the mess

work: it's weird now i have to think about money and my future. The mission was just worrying about the people and the work. Now i have to work to provide for school, food, housing, dates, car, mac... which brings up more stress. What car!?!?! gosh i've budgeted 5,000-10,000 also thinking about do i go through a credit union so i can start generating good credit. credit.. do i get a credit card... i mean i can pay for my car in cash if i buy it in september. back to expenses... mac or no mac? isn't that really the question- granted work pays me well, and i can buy it now... but mac or no mac? aren't we all faced with this question.
went to my first dance on saturday with my friend Elisa... met up with some other friends... for the first 15 minutes i froze... i totally didn't think this would ever happen but it did. And it was horrible. I felt awkward, naked... I believe that if you feel awkward, it's because of yourself not anyone else. i then started expressing how i felt in a totally serious way while being myself as people laughed, sympathized, and smiled. Laughing at myself totally loosened me up- and i danced the night away- it was a blast! until i saw Nan- that's just awkward always
School... it took me 5 hours to write a thesis. It wasn't even hard... i remember how to do- it's just the action was just unfamiliar to me. Ahh oh and now i'm planning out what classes to take... Believe me being a Studio Arts Major while preparing for Med School and the MCAT is no easy feat... Oh well, it looks like tough semesters are ahead.
Making new friends... so i'm at home... all my friends are in Provo or on Missions, which leaves me here... alone. I went to Singles ward last week- i didn't know anyone... plus everyone is older (granted there's no one in UT that is 20). I had no desire to talk to anyone/get to know anyone... really just to get out of my comfort zone. I mean last year i had memorized everyone's name in the ward by the end of a week... what was different?!?! Luckily last week, a girl named Brittany Baxter came up to me and started talking. Then invited me to sit by her, and then said she would go to FHE with me. I felt awkward which i hate... so once again i laid myself on the line and started joking around about my situation- everyone thought it was funny... and i found myself being me, which is ultimately what i like...

It's funny and horrible getting back into the swing of things. I keep thinking about how the expression "Learn from the past, and Look to the future," but I like just enjoying the present... so my friends... Learn from the Past, Look to the Future, but Enjoy the Present

3 comments:

Katie and joe said...

this was funny to me- i remember all the dates i went on with the just returned missionaries and how awkward they always felt! its okay... that feeling WILL pass, and the more you go on dates, etc., the sooner it will go away! (thats what im told anyways... :) and i remember going on a date with a guy who had to come home after three months and was twenty- soooo awkward. but you seem to be able to get past it, and he couldn't. good luck though!

ps- ditch the mac.... boo macs! :)
pps- almost anything toyota rocks my world. it can rock yours too.

ahollandetc said...

1. who the heck is that a pic of? not you right!?!
2. get a mac
3. get a credit card and build credit now...or you will regret it. use card and pay off immediately
4. maybe pay for car in cash so no interest
5. i understand that awkward nan sighting!
6. definitely definitely enjoy the present! you are funny. have fun, embrace opportunity, life only gets harder!

xoxo

Anonymous said...

ok so firstly, i'm glad to see that i made it into the blog. second, are you related to nan chung?! and third, you're going to medical school?! why did i never hear about this? thats awesome!