How to become a social recluse... (It's isn't as hard as it seems :D)

There are many moments in my life when I wonder how people become whom they are at any given moment. A classic example of this is my relentless need to find out how a hobo becomes a hobo. Interesting question right? Recently, I have wondered the same thing about the infamous... "SOCIAL RECULSE!" There are many titles of a social recluse including but not limited to “work-aholic,” “social outcast,” “nutty professor,” “the OCD,” "religious fanatic," “person lacking social skills and/or social decorum,” and the oh so famous “loser.” *Disclaimer—(The “social recluse” can choose their own seclusion or it can be environmentally induced.) Here are a few suggestions that I have found to be quite effective to achieve this mighty goal which seems unattainable but through my profound guidance, you too can become join the brotherhood of a social recluse! *Disclaimer—(the brotherhood does exist in theory but not practice. All members are too secluded to actually come to the weekly meetings.)
1)Create a lofty goal- and become obsessed with it:

For the work-aholic, it is succeeding in work, making money, or even providing for a family. For the loser, it’s computer games or Nintendo. For the case of my good friend, it is getting into medical school. Then create a network of sub-goals to achieve your goal.

2)Become obsessed about the obsession of your over obsessed goal:

This is a very important step. The obsession will take so much time that all other things seem meaningless. A good way of gauging the obsession level is if one of your sub-goals takes precedence over all necessary bodily functions: sleeping, eating, or even going to the bathroom. If you find yourself saying “I have 20 minutes before my next class, I could get something to eat or get ahead in my homework. I’ll get ahead in my homework,” then you are well on your way to becoming the Ultimate Social Recluse.

3)One obsession leads to another:

In the recent case of my good friend, his desire of Medical School has driven him to a greater love of learning. His new obsessions include but are not limited to watching CNN in his spare time and listening to the NPR commentary on the radio. These new obsessions have replaced his previous love of the Food Network Channel and Indie Music. Getting rid of all interesting qualities of your personality is a good way to isolate yourself from reality.

4)Obsession is exhibited in all facets of life:

When one has a “worthy” obsession, he/she cannot stop talking about it. CNN and NPR create incessant chatter of current events and have improved vocabulary tremendously. These obsessions have also created a barrier to relate to other human beings.

5)With so many obsessions, who has time for anything else:

In any spare time you may have, replace it with one of your sub-obsessions or things like work or church. Consequently, it will create a lack of time. Since you are already goal driven, you will always get everything done. You will now sacrifice all time to your goals. This includes your Friday nights and Saturday evenings being transformed to studying text books and writing papers.

6)No matter how much you want to turn back just say to yourself “It’s worth it”:

There will be times when you want to go back to the world of the living. Just know that you have already rationalized your goal numerous times and that it is always “worth it.”


Well my friends, I hope this will help you on your way to utter seclusion. Follow these 6 steps and you have the Jarom Chung guarantee that you too will become a “SOCIAL RECLUSE.”