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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The word Naked

Today I was walking to my class when this girl behind me said, "I'm by the naked Indian" while talking on her phone. Instantly, my blood began to boil, and a little part of me began to scream "HE'S NOT NAKED!"

na'ked:
adjective
(of a person or part of the body) without clothes

There is a peculiar statue on BYU campus of a Native American in a LOIN CLOTH. Key word here is LOIN CLOTH. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty certain that if this bronze 9 foot Native American could speak, he would say he was wearing clothes. There is no indecent exposure of genitalia, and therefore he is not naked!
Point number 2: If I am wearing nothing but a towel, I am not naked! Granted, I’m not clothed, but I’m not naked either. I’m simply wearing a towel. A lava lava is a towel like clothing wrapped around the lower half of the males in traditional Polynesian style. Once again no indecent exposure of genitalia.
Point number 3: According to some females, they are naked if they are wearing short shorts and a tank top. I’m pretty sure those are clothes… at least last time I checked. You can say, “Don’t look I’m in my pajamas!” however do not say, “Don’t look I’m naked.” That would just be a lie.

A perfect example of nakedness is seen in the Bible with our first parents Adam and Eve. Now they were naked. In fact they ran from God to “hide their nakedness.” Then the traditional ‘fig leaves’ were used to cloth themselves. Well, if anything is close to not being clothes, it would be fig leaves. Yet, it says that they hid their nakedness. Hmm I’m pretty sure a loin cloth covers more than fig leaves. *gospel tangent- nakedness also refers to shame. Adam and Eve ran from God to hide their shame from transgressing the law.


In conclusion, DO NOT SAY YOU ARE NAKED UNLESS YOU MEET ONE OF THE FOLLOWING REQUIREMENTS:

1)Showering
2)Changing underwear
3)Streaking
4)Skinny Dipping
5)Occasional going to the bathroom
6)Swimming suit falls off in the pool
7)Fornication
8)People removing your clothes as a prank. Getting pantsed and someone ripping off the shirt simultaneously- technically you aren’t naked if you are only pantsed.

4 comments:

Tanner Mills said...

to me naked means my bum or weiner is showing, and could technically be wearing a shirt still.

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure that about made my day! I'm thinking about getting naked just reading it. Bahaha!!!

Missy Johnson said...

I am laughing out loud. Oh my gosh.

Missy Johnson said...

Polly polly pocket.